Two friends of mine, both age 40+ are new parents. This led me to ponder...
What is the best age to have children?
I had my first when I was 23.
The negatives for young parenting were...
I was less responsible then and therefore not the best role model. I married before I was ready and ended up divorcing when my son was 4.
The positives were...
My parents were still alive to see their grandkids. I was young enough to be able to relate to what kids were into. I was more energetic and willing to do things like outdoor activities. I will be able to see my kids get married, have kids, etc.
Comments?
"Although America has problems, America is not the problem"
Posts: 986 | Location: Humboldt | Registered: 09 November 2005
When you're ready to have kids, or when kids are ready to have you.
It doesn't make a whole lot of difference how old or young you are. If you're mature enough to allow your children to grow up to be themselves, support them and love them through their challenges, defend them when they need it, and find others to serve as good role models, give them some good standards to guide them in life, let go when it's time, and this and that, you're in prime parent time.
One thing about parenthood that's interesting to me is that you don't know what you're getting into, and once you're there, there's no way out, and it's for better or worse. Unconditional love is the best part of it. And that's the downside too, because the hardest part for me, lately, has been reliving adolescent hurts, when my own kid feels them.
--------------------------------------------------------------- "if you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got." ---------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 6804 | Location: usa | Registered: 09 February 2006
There are some who believe that humans are meant to reproduce at relatively young ages (late teens, early twenties), and their parents are meant to raise them. That is, you have kids when biology merits it, and raise kids when wisdom merits it.
I wish our culture were more like this.
But since it isn't, I believe waiting until career is stable and spousal relationships are in order before having kids is best.
I'm a single parent. That has, more than anything, forced me to be a strong advocate of double parenting!
life is what happens, as John Lennon taught us, when you're busy making other plans.
A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.
Posts: 8264 | Location: Fl | Registered: 05 July 2001
Personally, I'm looking forward to not having kids at home anymore. I love them dearly but after 20 years I've had enough. I certainly won't miss the odor of sweaty teenage gym socks!
I plan on spending more time with my wife and traveling more.
I'm sure there will be times when I miss having kids in the house but there will likely be grandkids by then.
I'm happy for my 40's aged new-parent friends but I certainly wouldn't want to be in their shoes.
"Although America has problems, America is not the problem"
Posts: 986 | Location: Humboldt | Registered: 09 November 2005
Trust me, it's waaaay different with grandkids... so much more fun.
I've advised my grown kids to wait until they're done with college, established a career, established with their partner, solid financial footing with adequate savings, etc... also if they're travel bugs, get most of that out of the way in case childbearing anchors them to place. Three of my kids are following that path, one has not; he's given us a grandchild. He's broke all the time, I'll be surprised if he's still married to his wife in 5 years, and it will be years and years before he'll be in a position to buy a home of his own.
------------------------------------ We cannot control the evil tongues of others; but a good life enables us to disregard them.
Posts: 1855 | Location: here and now | Registered: 22 September 2005
Who doesn't think they're mature enough to do what they want to do? If I had made babies when I was in my 20's or 30's, it would have been a disaster.
I think I did it in the optimum way. I never wanted children when I was young, mostly because I'm not fond of little boys and 50% odds were too high. That way, I was able to comparison shop for the family I wanted when I married my second wife. I adore my step-daughters and they love me.
(I acknowledge the problems of having daughters. When you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis in the neighborhood. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about EVERY penis in the neighborhood.)
Posts: 946 | Location: Newberg | Registered: 15 March 2006
I acknowledge the problems of having daughters. When you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis in the neighborhood. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about EVERY penis in the neighborhood.
Another way I've seen this phrased: boys are difficult to raise until they're teens, girls are easy to raise until they're teens!
But having only a boy, I can't speak to what's it's like to have girls.
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