quote:

'... and you will soon die,' said the other Eddie. 'Sad but true. So I suppose it will do no harm to explain the rest. By channeling the very essence, the very soul-stuff of those toys, the monkeys, the band, the orchestra, and soon all of your kind, by drawing out their essence and funnelling it into free giveaways to promote the sale of our special chicken, we eliminate all competition. No real chickens will be eaten on this world again. And within one year, after the release of the movie, when the Golden Chicken chain goes global and every chicken that is eaten is one of our special chickens, this world will be ours.'

'I don't quite follow how,' said Eddie.

'Because,' said Eddie's other self, 'our special chicken has rather special qualities. It is, for one thing, highly addictive. The more you eat, the more you want to eat. The population of this world will grow fatter and fatter and they will also grow more and more aggressive as we up the dosages of certain hormones. By the turn of the next century this country, so well known for its love of democracy and justice, will begin to invade Middle Eastern states. And here, the religion of this world, well, at least one of them, which prophesies something called Armageddon, will prove correct in its prophecy. The world of men will wipe itself out. There will be no more men. And then the chicken population, having already expanded into your world, will take over this one as well. There's plenty of room here for a long time yet.'

'And when there isn't?' Eddie asked.

'Then the chickens will continue onwards.'

'Well, bravo to the chickens,' said Eddie Bear.