Meet Gerald, Claude, Bernard and Storm.
Gerald, Claude, Bernard and Storm used to be in a band called The Anatomically Correct Sock Puppets, but disbanded eight years ago after having played their part in what is now often referred to as "the filthiest after-concert binge of the post-pop era", for the act of which they have spent seven of the aforementioned eight years in one high-security prison, several mental hospitals, and four cardboard boxes.
Although they have mutual feelings of love and loathing, they will rarely admit to these; instead, they simply consider themselves each other's bestest friends.
Gerald hails from a location he staunchly refuses to disclose. His interests include model cars, baseball, and management. He has once been tried on by a foreign diplomat.
Claude is a zealous embroiderer. He is a former documentary film director and thinks nature is chaotic, cruel, and senseless. Born in Duluth, MN, he has owned huts and houses all around the globe. Claude is a left sock.
Last year,
Bernard finally liberated himself from his religious denomination; he has since been wearing himself inside out attempting to unveil the meaning of life. At all times he will tell his associates that he has "finally found the answer". Bernard's favorite philosopher is Jacques Anquetil.
Contrary to what his name may suggest,
Storm is an exceptionally civilized sock who cannot stand dirty feet, dirty hands, dirty dishes, dirty toenails, any variety of sweat, and dirt in general. He is a great fan of the color green, both World Wars and — oddly — dirty fingernails. He likes city life outside of ghettos, subways, the sight of cameras and outside in general.
Gerald, Claude, Bernard and Storm will be glad to show you more of themselves on appropriate occasions.
I noticed, but I do...